Out of the aeroplane window the world feels very small. Tiny houses resembling those ones of dolls, little uneven brown squares in the place of fields and a sea of smooth white clouds. At times like these I think of how fragile life is. Memories of “leaving” come up in my body and cover it in a wave of emotion.
My tale is one of leaving and loss. As a kid of immigrant parents one of my first memories is in the age of three waving goodbye to my grandmother while seeing her face full of tears not knowing when and if I was going to see her again.My heart felt heavy and sad, a kind of sadness my little body could not bear. Loss defined my development and sense of self for many years to come.
Loss has been a major part of my work as a therapist. The sudden death of a loved one, the tragic events of a family member taking their own lives, the loss of a relationship or a beloved pet, the loss of self in periods of transition, the loss of health for an elderly person. Loss.A huge part of our lives and so deeply ingrained in it. We can meet It suddenly in the open or in hidden paths and those paths I have walked many times with my clients.My role as a therapist is to sit in that sacred space and hold them in those dark moments of their pain, in moments when their lives and oftentimes their own selves don't make much sense. I hear their tales of loss and bit by bit I see their pain unfolding, I see them understanding the process and diving in their emotions to allow themselves cry and feel.
The process of grief is one of the most difficult ones we will go through in our lives and yet if we allow ourselves to feel, it will connect us so deeply to ourselves and heal us in the most profound ways. Tears will fall and just like raindrops on a winter day they will allow our souls to be soothed and return to a new sense of normality and meaning. Many of us however don't give permission or the space to ourselves to fully feel what needs to be felt. One of the most common fears I have heard from my clients is that if they start crying, they will never be able to stop. Their fully felt emotions becomes a monster that threatens to consume them if they they allow themselves to soften into the natural process of grief which throws them deeper into a spiral of pain and loneliness.
If you are struggling with your emotions through a period of loss, I invite you to stop and think what blocks you from allowing yourself to feel your feelings fully. What are the underlying beliefs and fears.
I also invite you to reach out for help, you are not meant to go through this alone.
You are loved🌺