Today was one of those days that my daughter wanted to ride her bike to school. It is a difficult, bumpy path that one for a six year old, full of obstacles, people and traffic lights, however her fierceness was bigger than her fear. I was looking at her, her little body excited and steady, giving that pushing energy to the bike, the path ahead of her long and open, the air fresh and the sky blue. At that moment she was claiming her freedom and aliveness with all her being and me following her and shouting "use your breaks" and " be careful" from time to time.
I could hear my voice and thinking at which point in our lives did that "use your breaks" and "be careful" became bigger and more dominant than our thirst for life and freedom. At which point did we allow the heaviness of the world and our traumas to silence the voice of that six year old that wanted to run, jump, play and breath in the fresh air of an exciting, big, full of risk, magic and amazement world. At which point did we forget and become serious, rigid and less. Less playful, alive, less of the wonders we are in our very cores?
Most of us did at one point or another. Some of us might not remember at all the lightness and care free essence of our childhood because early or developmental trauma stole that away from us way too soon. However, the wonder of the inner child is still within, waiting to been seen and discovered, poking, calling, crying and screaming to be discovered. For many of us it has been locked away for many years, captive in darkness and trapped in a room with no access or windows to let the light of the day come in. And if you dare open that door, dear reader, the pain will be excruciating no doubt. The darkness and heaviness of your trauma will be there for you to touch for this is the very essence of human nature. The dark and the light go hand in hand. Always. In the dark corners of that room you will also discover magnificent beautiful treasures and gifts that life has for you. You will discover your joy, aliveness, playfulness and hunger for life. The very essence of who you are. In this case I would say to you "use your breaks but don't be afraid".
I am here always to help you discover the wonders of your inner child. With love and a deep respect for your own pain. You are loved.
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